The Manic Pixie Dream Girl

I like to think of myself as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl (MPDG), for no apparent reason. It’s not a particularly positive thing to aspire to be, but I strive for it anyways.

An MPDG is a girl in a work of literature or media that exists to give the protagonist something to work towards. She usually has low self esteem, and is riddled with quirks and usually can’t keep track of her thoughts. I was reading an article on MPDG’s a while back, and realized how much I needed to fit this description. She has low self esteem so that the (male) lead can make her have a purpose, leading to an endless spiral or resistance and pursuing, until the MPDG cracks, leading to the climax and falling action.

My version of this is lacking in one key area. The protagonist. I have friends, many of them male, yet none of them need to help me in order to succeed in their stories. Why? Because this is real life, not a world of books and movies. If there were to be a boy who came out of nowhere to piece me together like a jigsaw, I would likely make an attempt to decapitate him.

The other areas of my MPDG-esque mission are all in place. I have Christmas lights strung upon my bedroom walls constantly, I pause everyday to sip a cup of tea while in an oversized sweater, I beat myself up over little petty things, I study too hard, then don’t apply myself, I push people away, and ponder common thoughts. Last summer I chopped my hair off in an act of so-called rebellion, leading to me being annoyed at myself for doing it. I don’t like “popular” music, and call movies “films” for no apparent reason.

I try to impress myself, and convince myself that I am worth the other peoples lives, when in fact, that’s what everyone thinks of themselves.